


Falling for the Captain

by l0serkawa



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:20:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29790468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l0serkawa/pseuds/l0serkawa
Summary: Written in Akane's POV, she loses her best friend and comrade in a mission. She's been in the Levi squad for a few months, sharing small moments with the Captain. One night, everything changes.---Akane is an OC, but I decided to use vague descriptions for her so the reader can imagine her however they wish. There will be angst, sadness, and a lot of comfort.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Reader
Kudos: 7





	1. Preface

The Levi squad entered their temporary living quarters together, finally, after an excruciatingly long mission. It felt like weeks went by when it was only a few days. 13 titans killed, two of them being from myself, and I wanted to collapse. They were horrific, disgusting creatures that I never wanted to see again, but would rather that than another poor bystander having to see them. I wanted to protect everyone I could. If I could protect a child from the trauma of even seeing one, I would. This drove me to want to terminate all of them. That, and the fact that my entire family had been devoured by one only 5 years prior.

I sighed, setting my bag on the floor and tying my hair up. I needed to take a shower but decided to wait until after we’d done our cleaning. The rest of the squad proceeded to clean, enjoying the silence apart from the sounds of washing and sweeping. We’d lost two members. We’d all just seen some horrific things, a few of us for the very first time. We needed time to digest our experience. As morbid as it sounds, I found comfort in the fact that we’d all experienced this together. 

I felt a hand rest on my lower back and turned around to see Eren standing next to me.

“How are you feeling, Akane?” he asked, gazing at me with his kind and tired eyes.

I shrugged, looking down. “I’m okay. As okay as I can be knowing my friend died in my arms and I had to leave her body in a forest.” I started, feeling tears well up behind my eyes. “I mean, I could be better. Being covered in her blood and hearing her beg me to save her while I did everything I could.” My voice started to crack, and I couldn’t stop myself from saying more. “I will never… ever… forget her screams-” I sunk down to the floor, beginning to cry into my hands.

Eren crouched down, resting his arm over my shoulder. “Hey, it’s good to talk about it. Don’t bottle it all up like others do. Talk it out, cry it out, we need it.” He smiled at me softly, his words kind but meaningless to me in the moment. I kept thinking about her and the blood curdling screams she couldn’t stop from escaping her lips. I looked at my hands, stained light red from the blood she’d lost on me while I attempted to stop it. 

I took a deep breath, choking on the air, and let out an embarrassingly loud sob back into my hands. I’d never lost it like this, this wasn’t my first mission, and I’d lost comrades before. This was different, though. She was family to me. The only person I had here. I just felt empty. In the moment, I really didn’t care who heard how badly I was hurting. If anyone complained, they could blame Eren for asking in the first place.

I clenched my fists, beginning to feel angry at the entire situation. Eren’s arm not leaving my shoulder as he offered comfort in the form of company. I appreciated it. 

I didn’t hear the footsteps approach me as I continued my breakdown in the middle of the floor. 

“Akane.” I heard a familiar deep voice say.

I looked up, wiping my tears and was surprised to see Captain Levi crouching on one knee in front of me. We were eye level, his gaze impossible to read.

“We can hear your hysterics in every room of this place.” He said softly, his tone serious but not angry. “I know you’ve been through a lot. I know it’s hard to process. But other scouts need to rest.” He looked down and back at me. “Personally, it doesn’t bother me. But I had a complaint from another sector.” 

I shook my head and cleared my throat. “I’m sorry-” I started to say.

“You don’t need to be sorry for having feelings. I’m sure there’s a few of us who wish we could cry like that.” Levi sighed and finally acknowledged Eren, who’d been a bystander to this conversation this entire time. “What’s your excuse? This place is still filthy. Get back to work, Jaeger.” 

Eren nodded, giving me a pat on the back and got up. Levi stayed in the same spot, watching Eren leave with a straight face.

“If you need someone to talk to, you can come and see me after dinner.” Levi said quietly, only for my ears to pick up. He stood up and offered his hand to me. I obliged.

I was always amazed at Levi’s strength, he pulled me up quickly and with ease. We were face to face once he pulled me up, him standing only two inches taller than myself. Our eyes met and I was the first to look away, stepping back slightly. “Thank you, Captain.” 

“Anytime.” He said. Levi let go of my hand, turning his hand around to examine his palm which was now dirtied with whatever filth had clung to me from the mission and this cleaning session. Levi grimaced, and I cringed internally as I knew how much he hated being contaminated by… anything. I began to apologize, and he raised his hand to me. “It’s fine. It’s disgusting, but it’s fine. Go take a shower.” He looked at me up and down, meeting my eyes once again. “That’s an order.” I almost saw his mouth curve into a smile before turned towards the door and walked away from me. 

I rested my hand on my chest, letting out a long sigh. Levi and I had been sharing small moments like this a lot lately. We’d gotten to know each other quite well over the past few months, but only recently did I start feeling differently. Little conversations where I felt intimidated turned into a feeling of nervousness. My heart started to race, and I shook my head, dusting off my clothes. “This isn’t what it feels like to develop feelings for someone, is it?” I thought. “There’s no way. I can’t fall for the Captain.”


	2. The Nightmares Live On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akane attempts to adjust as she returns from the mission, but continues to relive the horrors she'd experienced.

The hot steam soaked into my skin for what felt like hours. I washed my body of the physical memories from past few days. The water dripping down my skin and finally running clear. After scrubbing my entire body clean, I sat down in the shower, allowing the water to hit me as I tried to come to terms with the current situation.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, being suddenly interrupted by a loud knock. “Akane, can you please hurry up? I’m sorry for rushing you, but there are a few of us who still need to shower.” I heard Armin’s voice from behind the door. I quickly got up, shutting off the shower and wrapping myself in a towel. I dried off quickly and put on a clean pair of comfortable clothes. I opened the door, smiling sheepishly at the line that had formed while I was in the bathroom.

“Sorry everyone.” I blushed, waving at the three scouts standing in front of me. “I let time get the best of me.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Armin said with a smile. I was always thankful for his refreshing personality.

I gave my comrades a polite nod as I headed towards my bedroom.

After getting situated in my room, I laid down for a moment. There was still an hour until dinner, and my body was just exhausted. My eyelids grew heavy as I drifted into sleep.

_“Akane? Akane! I’m over here. Please. Akane!” I heard my best friend, Kyoko, screaming my name from a short distance. I ran to her as fast as I could, arriving to a severely injured young woman writhing in pain. “A titan-” she started, “It got me. But someone, I don’t know who it was, they killed it before it was able to swallow me.” She groaned, looking up into my eyes. “Please tell me my leg is still there.” She began to cry, barely able to make a sound as the pain was too much for her._

_I gasped, noticing she was missing her left leg and hand. I covered my mouth, suffering from shock as tears formed behind my eyes and my best friend bled in front of me. “No…” I whispered, “No... Kyoko-” My hands shook as I rummaged through my belongings, quicky finding something to use as a tourniquet. I wrapped it around her forearm, but there was nothing I could do to stop the bleeding for her missing leg._

_“Apply pressure to the wound. If you can slow the bleeding down, chances of survival are much higher.” A voice echoed in my head. As big as the open wound was, I could use my body to apply pressure until help arrived. I sat against a tree, pulling her towards me. I held her as I pressed all of the weight I could against her open wound, shivering as she screamed with every movement. “I-I’m sorry Kyoko.” I said through tears, looking into her eyes. She tried to speak, only letting out sharp groans and barely audible screams every time she opened her mouth. Tears streamed down her face as she held onto me with her remaining hand._

_“Please” she choked out, “please don’t let me die here, Akane”. Her blue eyes pleading with me as she let out another scream, I wrapped my arms around her, clutching her against me. There wasn’t anything else I could do. I had no idea where my comrades were anymore. Battle sounds and titan screams filled the air as Kyoko contributed to the noise with her cries._

_I looked around, pleading with anyone. My captain, a comrade, a higher power, anything, I just needed help. I noticed Kyoko’s screams subsiding as her breaths became shallow._

_“Kyoko? Kyoko! It’ll be okay. I’ve got you, okay? We’re going to get through this. Stay awake. You’ll make it through this.” I began, not realizing how hysterical I’d become. My eyes pouring tears onto my best friend’s body, I held her even tighter against me._

_“Akane…” she whispered, “I’m so thankful for you.” Kyoko’s voice broke as I heard her groan in pain again, watching her inhale a very deep breath. She exhaled, closing her eyes. I felt her body relax in my arms. I looked down, realizing her chest hadn’t risen back up. “Kyoko?” I whispered with a shaky voice. “Hey, Kyoko?” I asked again, not ready to believe it. I checked for a pulse, realizing she didn’t have one anymore._

_“No… No no no no no.” I began pleading as I frantically laid her down on the ground, beginning to administer CPR. I pushed against her chest with the force I was taught, feeling her frail ribs crack under the pressure. I sobbed as I attempted to give her two deep breaths in between compressions, only my oxygen entering her lungs. She made no movements, as I continued life saving efforts. I started pleading with her, as I continued chest compressions, positive all of her ribs were broken at this point. I didn’t care. As long as I had her alive, she’d be able to heal from the broken ribs._

_As I sat up to give her two more breaths, I was quickly grabbed by something and felt myself flying through the air. I kicked my legs, pleading at whoever had taken me to let me go. “You left Kyoko! She’s still down there!” I screamed._

_Captain Levi held onto me tightly, not letting me go from his grip. “I’m sorry, Akane. We have to retreat. She’s gone.” He said in a breathy voice. It was clear his body was tired from what he’d just experienced. He put me down once we got to a safer place, waiting to rendezvous with the rest of the squad._

_“I-…I-“ I started, unable to find words for what I wanted to say. I so badly wanted to plead with him to go back, to see if by some miracle she was alive. I dropped to my knees, realizing that wasn’t happening. It was too dangerous to even go back to get her body for a proper burial. I looked down at my hands as they shook violently, hardly noticing the deep red that covered me. My light-coloured shirt and pants now the same tone of the forest floor under her, completely drenched in blood. “I-…I-..I can’t…” I tried to speak, not even knowing what I wanted to say. I was in shock. I had no idea how long I was giving her CPR for. No idea how long I’d been back there._

_I snapped back to reality as I felt two cold hands press against my cheeks, Levi looking directly at me. He’d crouched down on his knees in front of me._

_“Calm down.” He said, looking straight into my eyes. I could feel tears welling up as the temperature of his hands somehow provided a moment of comfort in the middle of this hell._

_My whole body continuing to shake as I experienced the shock of the situation, still not able to process the moment. My clothes soaking wet with blood, I realized I was shaking because of how cold I was. It was almost nightfall and the temperature had dropped. “C-Cold” I began, watching Levi as he removed his green cloak and placed it around me. I hadn’t even noticed I’d lost mine._

_“It’s not much, but it’s all I have for now.” He took my arm, draping it over his shoulder as he wrapped his around my waist and helped me stand up. My body pressed against his and I realized his clothes were being stained from mine. “The blood… Your clothes…” I said with my voice shaking. He shook his head, shrugging. “They’re just clothes. I’ll be fine.” I nodded, looking at the ground, and became overwhelmingly aware of how tight he was holding me against him. I could probably stand on my own, but his presence was helping my hysterics in the moment. I decided to stay in place, taking deep breaths, and rested my head against his shoulder._

_Levi looked down at me slightly puzzled, but then looked away. He didn’t seem to mind, and neither did I. If he didn’t want me to, he would’ve definitely said something._

_“The rest of the squad is back. Do you want to ride alone, or with someone?” He asked, being interrupted by Eren’s booming presence as he jumped off his horse and ran towards us._

_“Akane! Are you okay? You’re bleeding!” He shrieked at me, I put my hands up, trying to signal that I was fine._

_“It’s not her blood.” Levi stated, arm still around my waist._

_Eren stopped, looking us both over. He peered around us, searching for something._

_“Where’s Kyoko?” He asked._

_My breathing quickened, feeling myself rush into another panic attack. My mind was in a daze, and for a moment I was distracted. Eren’s question pushed me back to the dark place I was in only a short while before._

_“Kyo- she..” I started, voice cracking. I felt my knees go weak as I lost my balance, Levi quickly coming to the rescue and not letting me fall. My thoughts got cloudy, mind racing with photographic evidence of what I’d experienced. I looked at my hands again, my hands that I couldn’t save her with. My one person. I grit my teeth, feeling sick to my stomach, and started to sob once again._

I jolted up, realizing I woke myself up from the sounds of my own cries. I tried to catch my breath and sat there, remembering every second of the nightmare. It was hardly a nightmare, however, and more of a replay. It was exactly what had happened. Playing over and over in my head during the day, and now I had to relive it in my sleep. I stood up, looking around my room and noticed it was 2:30am. I’d fallen asleep around 4pm, hoping to only get some quick rest before dinner.

Sluggishly, I walked to the kitchen and rubbed my eyes. I was terrified to go back to sleep. I rummaged through the pantry but didn’t find anything that even remotely appealed to me and was startled by a low voice across the room.

“Do you want some tea?” Levi asked, sitting at the table with a cup in his hand. I hadn’t even noticed him when I came in. Was he there the whole time?

I nodded, sitting down across from him. “Please.”

“You’re up late. I was wondering if you were going to come see me after dinner, but you didn’t even eat today.” He stated as he poured me a cup. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, taking the warm cup and blowing on the hot drink before taking a sip. “I accidentally fell asleep.”

Levi drank some of his tea and set it back down on the table. “That’s good.”

I shook my head. “I had a nightmare.” I said softly, looking down. “It was like I relived it a second time. Everything was the same.”

“Yeah, that can happen. Part of the reason I’m sitting in the kitchen drinking tea at 3 o’clock in the morning. I don’t get much sleep anymore.” He stated, his expression remaining unchanged.

“Oh…” I muttered, suddenly feeling rude for not even bothering to ask how he was doing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask. Are you okay?”

“You don’t need to ask me that.”

My face flushed red, realizing I might’ve crossed the line. I’d gotten too comfortable around him lately. He was still my superior. “O-Oh. I’m sorry for overstepping, Captain. It won’t happen again.”

“What?” The corner of his mouth curving into the slightest smile. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant I’ve been through a lot. Seen a lot. In a sense, I’m not okay at all. But I cope. So really, I’m fine.”

I tilted my head, feeling slightly confused at his response. “O-Oh…Okay.” I said quietly as I took another sip of my tea.

Trying to change the subject, I remembered he’d mentioned a book he started a few days ago. “Did you ever finish that book?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah, I did. It was actually pretty good.” He stood up, taking both of our empty teacups over to the sink. “Do you want to borrow it?”

Levi and I had bonded on more than one occasion over our love of reading. He’d told me in passing that it was an escape from reality for him. I felt the same.

“That’d be nice, Captain. Thank you.” I smiled.

“Follow me.” He stated, back turned to me. I walked into his office as he held the door open for me.

His office had quite a few bookshelves. We’d been stationed here for a while, long enough for him to have the opportunity to read quite a few stories. He gestured to the couch next to the fireplace. “You can sit down and warm up while I look for it. I can’t remember where I put it.”

I politely accepted his offer, sitting down and looking around while he searched his desk and nearby shelves. “Oh, here it is.” He picked up a medium sized book with a red cover, coming over to me and sitting down. “I won’t spoil it for you, but it’s pretty light compared to others I’ve recommended to you. It’s quite nice, actually.”

I smiled, taking the book from him and opened it up to read the first few sentences. Before I knew it, almost ten minutes had passed, and I had powered through the first two chapters. I looked up, noticing him reading another book next to me. He looked up, noticing I was looking at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing. I’m sorry for being rude. I just started reading and it really drew me in.” I laughed nervously. Levi shrugged it off, gesturing towards the book in my hands. “You can keep reading. I’m doing the same. I don’t mind the company.” He said as he went back to reading.

I felt my stomach flutter as he spoke to me. My cheeks flushed once again. “Okay… as long as you don’t mind. Thanks, Captain.”

His gaze didn’t leave his book as he continued talking to me. “You can just call me Levi, you know. It’s only the two of us here.”

I nodded, silently accepting his proposition. I adjusted my position as I got a bit more comfortable, resting my head against the arm of the couch and curling into a ball. Levi looked over at me again and let out a quiet, amused laugh.

“Are you comfortable?” He asked.

“Very.” I smiled, feeling both physically and mentally comfortable in that moment.

“I’m glad.” He said as he returned to his book. I did the same.

At least 20 minutes passed in soft silence, only the sounds of pages turning hitting our ears. I felt safe around the captain. _Er, Levi?_ My eyes grew heavy and I set the book on the cushion beside me, slowly losing consciousness as I fell asleep without my body giving me any time to get up and go to my room.

_I opened my eyes, the look of absolute terror in my best friend’s eyes as she held onto me. Where was I? I looked around, realizing I was in a forest. “Kyoko-“ I started, the sensation of pain shooting through my body as I tried to speak. I cried out, clinging onto her shirt._

_“Akane… Akane… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I can’t do more.” She sobbed into me, hugging me tightly. I felt my chest tighten as my vision went completely black. I could feel Kyoko giving me chest compressions and tilting my face to give me air._

_Kyoko… I’m here._

_“Akane. Please stay with me. Please.” She sobbed, the sounds of my ribs cracking under her hands. I couldn’t feel anything anymore._

_“Akane!” She screamed; I could now see her desperate attempts to revive my lifeless body. Horrified, I stared at the situation in third person, watching my best friend break into further hysterics. I screamed for her, reaching out to her, but she didn’t respond. I was crying, screaming for her, anything I could to tell her that I was right here, right beside her._

“Akane.”

I woke up to a hand on my back, Levi looking down at me with nothing but concern in his eyes. My vision clouded and breathing quickened as I tried to come back to reality. I kept replaying her point of view over and over in my mind. I sat up, Levi still with a hand on my back, our sides pressed against each other. He started to rub slow, deep circles. “Breathe.” He instructed.

“I-I’m sorry.” I said, burying my face into my palms. I was humiliated.

“It’s fine.”

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep! That was so inappropriate of me. I’m so sorry! I really didn’t mean to. And I’m sorry for disturbing you.” I was talking quickly, panicking at how I allowed myself to fall asleep here.

“Stop.” He said. I turned my head to look at him as he continued. “If I didn’t want you to sleep here, I would’ve woken you up and told you to go back to your room.”

I sighed, trying to take deep breaths as I held back tears from the nightmare playing over and over in my head.

“You can cry if you need to.”

That was all it took. I broke down again, sobbing like a child. It was embarrassing. Mortifying. I’m a soldier and need to act like one. But I just couldn’t. This was the first time in my entire career I’d broken like this. Levi’s hand briefly left my back and reached over me, pulling me close to him. I accepted the kind gesture, leaning against his chest.

The tears didn’t stop for what felt like an eternity. Levi held me against him, using his free hand to softly caress my hair. He didn’t say anything. He knew there was nothing to say that would make me feel better. Nothing could bring her back.

My breathing slowed as the tears slowed down, stopping entirely. I took a deep breath and finally sat up, immediately turning my head in shame. “I’m sorry-” I started, interrupted by his low voice.

“Stop apologizing to me. If anything, you were following an order from your captain. I told you it was okay to cry, didn’t I?” He said as he loosened his grip on me.

I rubbed my eyes swollen eyes, wiping the tears off of my face. “I’m just embarrassed. You brought me here to lend me a book and I ended up falling asleep and crying all over you.”

Levi shrugged, his nonchalant attitude in full swing. “There’s nothing embarrassing about that.”

I started to overthink our physical closeness as he spoke to me and noticed the light shining through the windows. It was already dawn.

“I guess it’s almost time for breakfast.” I said quietly. I stood up, something deep inside me cracking and wishing to stay where I was for only a few more minutes. Levi took his arm off of me as I stepped away.

“Thank you for everything.” I said while reaching for the book I’d started and trying to compose myself. “I’m sorry again, Captain.”

Levi shook his head at me. “I told you to stop apologizing. You can come to me anytime, I told you that.” He sat up, looking at me intently. “And what did I say about calling me Captain when it’s just the two of us?”

“Sorry-” I caught myself as I tried to apologize again. “I mean, okay. Thanks, Levi.”

He gave me a small, genuine smile as he returned to the book that rested on his lap. Without looking up, he waved to me. “Enjoy your breakfast.”

I nodded, rushing out a little too quickly and closed the door behind me. I’d slept more in the past 24 hours than I had in days, and yet I felt more exhausted than ever before. My stomach turned as I felt the same fluttering I’d experienced around Levi, remembering how close he was to me and how comfortable he was with it. It was so easy for him. It wasn’t weird, either. I wondered to myself if he was just a touchy person and acted like that with everyone. I was deep in thought as I bumped into Eren standing in the kitchen.

I couldn’t read his expression as he looked me over. I’m sure I looked terrible. Completely dishevelled, eyes puffy, a complete mess. He glanced at me and back at the doors I’d just come out of.

“Did you spend the night with Levi?” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren questions Akane as she leaves the Captain's office during the early morning hours.
> 
> Later, another mission arises, and nothing seems to go as planned.

“What?”

Eren towered over me as he took a step closer. “You came out of his office at this hour looking like that. Seems like he really took advantage of you, huh?” He crossed his arms. “What a scumbag move.” 

My face flushed red, feeling rage ignite inside of me. I pushed against his chest, making him back away from me. “It was nothing like that. Have some respect for Captain Levi.” I looked down, realizing how he must think of me. “Have some respect for me, too. What type of girl do you think I am?” 

Eren took in a deep breath that he held for a few seconds, exhaling an audible sigh of stress as he replied. “I think you’re a beautiful, intelligent, strong woman. A woman I don’t want to see get hurt by someone else.” 

I shook my head. “Thanks, but nobody’s hurting me. If you must know, I was talking to him about Kyoko. You know, my best friend? Our comrade? She died two days ago. I’m not exactly over it. Anyways, I don’t owe you an explanation.” I turned to walk away when I felt his hand grab onto my wrist. I turned back to look at him.

“I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions.” He said softly, a pained look in his eyes. I lowered my guard as I studied his expression. His grip loosened and lowered to my hand, holding it tight. “I meant what I said, though. I think you’re incredible. You deserve the world.” 

I opened my mouth to formulate some sort of reply, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. Was Eren admitting feelings for me? He was holding my hand and telling me all of these nice things. I’d only ever looked at Eren like a brother. He’d never spoken to me like this, either. 

“Good morning!” said a chipper voice from a familiar blonde, Armin approaching us quickly. I took my hand away from Eren’s grip and headed back into my room, unsure what to do about what had just unfolded. Eren had confused me. I wasn’t sure how he felt. A part of me deeply hoped that I was just misunderstanding things and he didn’t have feelings for me, because the last thing I wanted to do was break his heart. 

There’s nothing wrong with Eren. If anything, we could be perfect together. We’ve always gotten along well. He’s been there for me through everything. Past these superficial observations, however, deeper issues existed. Kyoko had been in love with him since the day they met. She’d constantly been trying to tell Eren how she felt, her normally extroverted personality slipping away every time she’d felt courageous enough to try to speak to him about it. She’d never told him, and she made me promise not to tell him myself.

The other issue was that there was something else holding me back. Something other than Kyoko. I felt like my heart wasn’t looking to take anyone in like that. I sat on my bed, racking my brain for answers. Was it because of the trauma I’d been through? The last thing I could think about was love. I was sure of it. I had too much going on, and Levi-

Levi.

My heart rate increased, and I felt the same strange fluttering in my stomach. This response immediately triggered by just the thought of the Captain. I covered my mouth as I recounted the night’s moments of closeness. How safe he’d made me feel by just holding me. I groaned, falling backwards onto my mattress. I was so confused. 

I ended up getting a few hours of sleep, thankfully, without interruption. It might’ve been my body being too exhausted to formulate a dream, but I was glad I could at least get a little bit of rest. I woke up to a knock at the door. I sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes. “Come in.” I said quietly.

“It’s me.” Eren’s voice spoke from the other side of the door. He slowly opened it, walking in holding a plate of food. “I noticed you weren’t at breakfast and assumed you were tired, so I let you rest for a while. But I saved you some and just heated it up for you.” 

I smiled, thankful for his kindness. I reached my hand out to take the plate from him. “Thanks, Eren.”   
Eren stood in front of me as I looked up at him, he stood almost an entire foot taller than me and it was almost intimidating looking up at him while I was sitting down. I brought my knees up to my chest, resting my plate on top of them. “You can sit in here if you want,” I offered. 

Eren sat down and shifted on the bed nervously, tying up his shoulder length hair. I hadn’t paid much attention to his well-being for the past few days and started to feel bad as I examined him from a few feet away. His eyes were surrounded by darkness, the tinge of purple and black under his bottom eyelashes. He looked completely exhausted. 

I set my food on the bed beside me, sitting straight up and leaning closer to him. 

“What’s wrong?” Eren asked, looking at me as I was now sitting much closer to him, with a clearly pained look on my face.

“I just…” I trailed off as I looked away. My dear friend who I was so close to felt so far away. It’d only been a few days, but it felt like everything was changing as we tried to adjust to our lives without Kyoko. “I haven’t been there for you like I should be. I’m sorry.”

Eren shrugged, giving my shoulder a playful nudge. “I’d be mad if you were fine, but you’re going through it worse than I am. I don’t expect you to always be there for me, especially when you’re suffering.” 

I gave him a weak smile but didn’t want to move past the words hidden between the lines. “So, you do admit there’s something else going on?”

“I mean, yeah, she was my friend too…” He trailed off. “I know we weren’t as close as you two, but it still hurts. I also haven’t been sleeping well which is why I look like the grim reaper and you saw me in the kitchen at 5 in the morning.” 

“I’m sorry. I should be there for you, too. We can try to get through it together.” I looked up at him with a hopeful expression.

“That’d be nice” Eren started, suddenly interrupted by a frantic Armin at the door.

“You guys need to get your gear on, and we need to go. Four titans are approaching fast. If we don’t get to them first, we’re done for.” He ran down the hallway, off to alert the other scouts.

Eren and I both jumped up, him telling me he’d be right back as he ran out to change into his gear. I quickly suited up and met him back in the hallway in under two minutes, both of us meeting up with Levi at the door.

“Ready?” He asked, looking us over as we stood in line with our comrades. “Eren, Akane, and Armin, come with me. The rest of you can go with Hange. We’re going in first.” 

Before I had a moment to respond, we were sprinting outside to get on our horses. My heartrate quickened as the reality of the situation had started to sink in. I started feeling clammy, as if all of my previous experience was null and I had never done this before. Teams needed to double up on horses due to the fact that we lost quite a few during our last battle.

Levi and Eren both got on a horse, waiting for Armin and I to choose who to ride with. 

“We don’t have time to hesitate.” Levi held his hand out and I got on the back of his horse. “Hang on to me.”

I followed the captain’s orders, wrapping my arms around him a little too tight. 

“Are you scared?” He asked as Eren and Armin followed us closely. 

I laughed nervously. “What? No. Of course not!” 

“You had me fooled with the way you’re squeezing me.” 

I loosened my grip completely, feeling my face flush red with embarrassment. Thankfully he couldn’t see me react to his statement. I started to feel self-conscious until I felt one of his hands rest on top of mine.

“It’s okay to be scared.” Levi stated, only loud enough for me to hear. “Just do what you can to kill the titans. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He cleared his throat. “To any of you.” 

His hand disconnected to mine as he returned to steering the horse, making it slow down as we approached the titans. They weren’t too big, nothing we hadn’t seen before. We hopped off our horses and Eren walked over to us. 

“What’s the plan, Captain?” He asked.

“We each take one. When it’s dead, head to the one closest to you and help your comrade. It should only take us a few minutes, we most likely won’t even need backup.” 

“Understood.” The three of us said, collectively rushing to the titans. 

We each broke apart as we attacked. Levi to my left, Eren to my right, Armin to his right. Levi killed his in a swift movement and as I was about to go for it, I froze.

I stared straight at the titan. Memories flooding back to only a few days prior. Looking at this hideous creature and remembering how severely one of them abused my best friend. How horrific and painful her death was. My hand went to my blade, gripping the handle and squeezing hard. I dug my nails into my palm and grit my teeth. I could feel the anger washing over me.  
“Akane! Move!” I snapped back to reality at the sound of the Captain yelling from afar, him noticing the titan barrelling towards me and I was just standing right in front of it. I glared at the titan, allowing the fear to be washed away with adrenaline. 

Levi and Eren both ran towards me, still quite far away. The titan was directly in front of me now and the only thing I could see was red. I was angry, disgusted, and wanted it dead.

Its large hand swung with force towards my body, and I used that moment to hook onto its shoulder, running up it’s back. It let out a screech as I used all of my force to slice its nape with my blade. Armin’s titan had dropped just before mine, and the one I’d just killed fell to the ground with a massive thud. I stood on top of it, looking down at the damage I’d caused and the killing strike. 

I tried to catch my breath and calm down, but my body became overtaken with rage. I began to frantically stab into its back, its face, anywhere I could. I growled as I sliced and screamed at the creature, releasing my pent-up aggression on its carcass. 

I lifted my blade one final time to deliver a straight blow to its skull. I raised both of my arms, ready to sink my blade down, when I was stopped. Levi’s hand around my left wrist, and Eren’s around my right. 

“Put the blade down.” Levi ordered, and I dropped it immediately. My eyes welled with tears and I closed them tight. I shook my head in an attempt to get it together. 

“I’m sorry…” I started.

“You went completely psycho. I’ve never seen you like that.” Eren said, looking at me with wide eyes. “It died a long time ago.” 

My hands dropped to my sides and I felt shameful. I looked at Levi whose eyes showed nothing but concern. 

“Let’s go.” He said, not mentioning the entire situation. 

“Captain-“

“Do you feel a bit better, at least?” He asked, holding his hand out so I could steady myself as we dismounted from the creature. 

Eren followed behind us, I could feel his gaze burning into me. Levi held onto my hand for a few more seconds than he needed to once we got on the ground. We both realized, and awkwardly let each other go. 

“I mean, yeah. Sort of.” I replied to his question with a genuine answer.  
“That’s good.” He said and whistled for the horses. Eren had found Armin, both of them checking each other to make sure they were okay. 

Hange’s team were on standby waiting for the signal. When they saw the green haze shoot into the sky, they knew they could retreat back to the base. Our mission was successful. 

I started to get onto Levi’s horse when I felt a large hand grab onto my wrist, Eren practically dragging me over to his. “Ride with me, Akane. Armin can go with Captain Levi. Right, Armin?” Eren smiled a little to sweetly.

“Uh- sure…” Armin said. Levi narrowed his gaze towards Eren, not saying a word. Armin and Levi mounted their horse and waited for us to get on ours, Levi watching us closely. 

Eren held out his hand for me as I reluctantly accepted, allowing him to pull me up. I settled behind him and rested my hands on his sides. He grabbed each of my hands and yanked them forwards, so I was completely hugging him, with my face pressed against his back. 

“Do you mind? Why are you being so forceful?” I asked, slightly annoyed.

“Just want to make sure you’re safe.” He held my hands in place as I attempted to move away from him. His strength outmatched mine as I was unable to move, and I gave in, rolling my eyes and accepting the fact that I’d be pressed against him for the remainder of the ride. 

Halfway through our ride back, a loud explosion sounded in the distance. The horse we were riding got scared and attempted to kick us off. Eren held onto the reigns with one hand and me with the other, not letting it happen. I silently thanked him when Levi and Armin rode up beside us.

“We’re going to see what the source of that was. Let’s go.” Levi ordered as we took off together. 

We rode into the forest for hours. Maybe three or four, without stopping. The entire time we didn’t speak, I was stuck in my head and mentally preparing for the worst. What was that explosion? How did we see and hear it from that far away? And why were we going straight into it without a plan? 

We dismounted from our horses and tied them to a safe place within the trees. We stood by in case we heard another explosion, awaiting any sign of another titan for us to destroy. 

“We can set up camp here for now.” Levi stated, pointing at a small spot between the trees, just big enough for the four of us to sit comfortably. 

“Why are we just waiting around here? We should go look for it!” Armin piped up.

“That might seem like the smart thing to do. I don’t want any surprises, though. If it’s that big, we’ll be able to hear it coming from a mile away. We’re going to wait for it to come to us. So be ready.” Levi said as he sat down, resting against the trunk of a large tree.

“You two can be on lookout. Armin, Eren, one of you head north and the other one south. We can switch in two hours.” Armin nodded and headed into the trees, while Eren grumbled to himself. 

“Is there something you’d like to say, Jaeger?” 

“I just think it’s funny how you want to be the one to stay back with Akane.”

Levi started to get up, dusting off his pants. “Do you want to take her place? We can sit and talk for a while, is that what you want?” 

Eren held his hand up, grimacing. “Absolutely not. Never mind. Forget I said anything, Captain.” 

Levi nodded, sitting back down. “I’m glad we were able to come to an understanding on basic orders.” 

I stood against a tree with my arms crossed, not really understanding what had just happened. I sighed as Eren walked away. 

“He’s been acting weird lately. Sorry about that, Captain.” 

“That’s how fools act when they fall in love.” 

I snapped my head at him, glaring at his nonchalant expression as he relaxed against the tree. 

“Nobody’s in love here.” 

“Eren is.” Levi stated. “With you. It’s painfully obvious. By the way, how’s your hand? Did he bruise it with that death grip he had on you?”

I examined my hand, realizing he had left a light bruise. “A little- actually, wait, what? Why do you think he’s in love with me?” 

Levi shrugged. “Let’s just say I have a hunch.” 

My stomach turned, and not in the way it normally would when I’d get butterflies. It was more of a sick feeling, a realization that Eren very well might have feelings for me. Feelings that I didn’t return, feelings that should’ve gone to my best friend. Feelings that I had for someone else.

I groaned, slowly sliding to the ground and leaned against the same tree Levi was. “I really can’t deal with all of this at once.” 

“Okay, well why don’t we talk about why you went serial killer slasher on that titan today.” 

I looked down. I’d completely forgotten about that. I attempted to explain how I’d felt, how it felt like I’d been taken over by emotions only. How I’d been completely consumed by anger and practically blacked out.

Levi smiled. I squinted to make sure that he really was making that expression.

“You should’ve seen the first few massacres I committed on titans after seeing my comrades killed. A few times I had to be pulled away. That was a long time ago, though.” He sighed. “Nothing really phases me anymore. I’m numb to it now, really. But I just wanted you to know that your feelings were normal.” He stopped, taking a long breath before continuing. “Or abnormal… Who really knows? Either way, at least you’re not alone in your actions.” 

I sighed, feeling slightly relieved. It was refreshing to hear the Captain open up once in a while.

“I appreciate the validation, Captain.” I said. We were sitting next to each other, both facing forward. I tilted my head and gave him a small smile. 

Levi looked down at me, his dark eyes almost expressive with empathy.

“Of course. Isn’t that what I’m here for?” 

My heart fluttered as we made eye contact and I quickly broke away from it, fidgeting with my hands. Once again, I was sitting closely beside the Captain all alone. He made me feel incredibly safe, but incredibly nervous. His presence was intoxicating and being hyper aware of it was proving to be a little too much for me. 

“I suppose.” I said, still not looking back at him. “Thanks, Captain.” 

I felt a familiar cold hand touch my cheek, turning my face towards him. My eyes widened as Levi tilted my head to look directly at him, him being much closer than before. He stared into my eyes with a kindness I hadn’t ever seen from him, a small smile that rarely crossed his lips.

“Didn’t I say you don’t need to call me that when we’re alone?” His quiet, low voice giving me goosebumps with each word spoken.

I can only describe my next actions as something I had no control over. My instincts clearly taking over as I leaned in, only centimetres from Levi’s lips. The barely noticeable curve of his mouth turned into a full smirk. 

Life was becoming much too disposable to question myself at this point. I’d seen more tragedies in the past few months than I have in my lifetime. I was waiting in a dark forest for a titan, for god’s sake. 

“You’re right.” I said, exhaling a small breath. I leaned in and kissed him, worried about every possible outcome of rejection, and was instead met with his palm pressing into my cheek as he kissed me right back. 

After a few seconds, our kiss broke, and I leaned away from him slightly, staring at him directly with heavy lidded and lustful eyes. “I meant to say thanks, Levi.” 

The Captain raised his eyebrows at me, letting go of my cheek and leaning back against the tree. “That’s better.” 

Seconds after my adrenaline high, my anxiety took control and my mind started racing as I began to overthink the entire situation. Was I too forward? I started fidgeting with my hands again, worried about what Levi now thought of me, and heard a branch break in the short distance. 

We both looked over to see Armin hiding behind a bush, hand covering his mouth. He looked both terrified and embarrassed. He was there the entire time.


End file.
